Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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