I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
