He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
