I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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