i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
