when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
