i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
