You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
