Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
