i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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