I want to have your abortion
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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