omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize