she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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