think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
