Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
