Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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