LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
