I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
