What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
