Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
