Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
