so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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