So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
