so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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