At least make sure they are 18
Why
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
