in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
