i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
