Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
