do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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