dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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