Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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