Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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