At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
