So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize