it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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