I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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