And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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