i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
