Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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