dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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