so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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