Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
