Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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