i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how drunk are you?
Several
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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