I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
