I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
