she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
