so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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