Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
