My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
