Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
