My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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