Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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