he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
