Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
