I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
