i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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