All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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