I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
