Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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