It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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