Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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