You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
