I just threw up on my dentist
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
