hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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