I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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