operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
