I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
