the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
