u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize