its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
