I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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