smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
