I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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