So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
