You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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