We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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