i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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