Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
why is half of my head shaved?
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